"Your will be done"

You say to pray
"your will be done,"
but I don't know that I like your will.
I don't know if I like mine either.
I don't know what my will is anymore.

You say to pray
"on earth as it is in heaven,"
but I don't know how it is in heaven.
I don't know heaven
or how it should be on earth.

What percentage of heaven
can we expect on earth?
Is healing an anomaly
or are we expecting that every time we pray?
I'd feel better if I knew the goal.

I'd feel better if I knew.
Maybe that's why I can't pray
"your will be done"
because I'm not ready to let go of knowing.
Then again, maybe that confession is the prayer.

"This, then, is how you should pray: ‘Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.'"

-Matthew 6:9-10