In InterVarsity (the college ministry where I’ve led for 21 years), we make a big deal about decisions to follow Jesus. This year we counted 2,671 first-time decisions to follow Jesus across the United States. Discipleship with Jesus is a daily decision to “act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with God” (Micah 6:8). But these formal moments of decision play a key part in our lives with God too.
I recently made a decision to dedicate my baby, Lucy, to God. I had previously dedicated my first-born daughter, Julia, to Jesus. She passed away from leukemia at 19-months of age. The night before Lucy’s baby dedication, I felt physically sick, sweating and headachy. My body knew grief before my brain caught up. I prayed, God, I dedicated Julia to you. And you took her from me. Can’t I keep one baby for myself? I don't want to give Lucy to you too. I pondered if I could hold to my commitment to follow Jesus and to teach my daughter about him. I’m still so mad at him.
An old hymn hummed in my mind, “I have decided to follow Jesus…no turning back, no turning back.” I had already decided, when I was six years old, to follow Jesus. But I needed to decide again. I wrote in my journal, “God, I’m still in this with you.” I made bullet-pointed list as to why I’m still committed to him, though it still had several asterisks and question marks.
The morning of the baby dedication, Lucy had a blow out diaper, and spit up all over her cute dress that I had planned for her to wear. After washing and drying her dress, in my haste to get out the door, I spilled my water bottle all over both of us. Getting an infant dressed and to church on time, hoping they don’t scream on stage, feels unnecessarily torturous. But I’m glad we got dressed up. I’m glad we got a cake. I’m glad we took pictures, and had the whole family come over to celebrate. Because it is a big deal.
It made me reflect on what it is we are celebrating when we make these faith decisions:
We celebrate the work of the Holy Spirit. When we have moments of decision or commitment, it is because the Spirit has been convicting and inviting us into a decision point. He’s gotten our attention. His actions towards us and for us are what we celebrate. His transformative work in our lives will be ongoing and eternal. (Philippians 1:6, 2:13)
We celebrate the courage it takes to make the decision. Decisions to follow Jesus are costly. It can mean a break in family trust, a giving up of resources, a change in career path, a surrender of desires, an honest wrestling with our distrust and pain. For some, it means imprisonment and even literal death. It’s courageous to say yes. (Romans 5:3-5, James 1:2)
We celebrate every decision. Some people make a decision to trust Jesus for the first time. Others grew up with family faith traditions but decide to make a commitment as an adult. Others make a recommitment after a season of hardship. Some make a decision with certainty. Others take a small, cautious first step. All of these faith decisions and steps in the discipleship process are worthy of celebration. (Mark 4:26-29)
We celebrate in community. I dedicated my daughters to Jesus with my friends in front of my whole community, because when I’m doubting and angry with God, I can be encouraged that others have suffered too and are still saying yes to Jesus. When I can’t remember why I follow Jesus, I can remember the global and historical church and those who have given up everything because of their belief in Jesus’s worthiness. (Luke 15:11-32)
We celebrate God’s loyalty to us. That church hymn that was playing in my head, “I have decided to follow Jesus,” can be a bit confusing…is it our decision that saves us or God’s grace and how much weight do we put on the decision? It’s good that we make the decision and celebrate it, but our decisiveness and loyalty is not enough to lead us into holiness. It’s God’s fierce loyalty to us that makes us into disciples. (2 Timothy 2:13, Romans 5:8, 8:10)
Deciding to trust Jesus with my life, and with my daughters’ lives is something I will need help with hourly, but I am glad I had this formal time of dedication. Whether I’m changing diapers in the middle of the night, sending my baby off to college, or remembering my first-born, I can look back to this time and remember that I made a commitment, in community, to trust Jesus with their lives. And Jesus, in his faithfulness, will help me stick to that commitment.
What would you add to my list? What have been moments of faith decision in your life that you want to remember or celebrate?
*pictured: my good friend, Heather, and I dedicating our baby girls together. We also got to dedicate our first-born kids together too, with our small group and families.