Thomas

I went all in with you, Jesus.
I was certain
if I trusted you,
you wouldn't let me down.
---
You let me down.
---
Certainty not just uncertain
but certainly now gone for good.
Now they're telling me
to trust you again.
To take their word for it --
your word for it.
And here I foolishly find myself
telling you to back up your words
with evidence.
Some say I shouldn't need proof.
That love should be without condition.
But is it love if you never show up?
You said that if I can't believe you
then believe the signs.
Well I'm looking for your sign
and I shouldn't.
The last sign I followed led to...you know.
I don't know why
but I'm going all in with you
again.
Something in me knows, wants to,
that you won't let me down.
That you'll show up this time.
That you'll show up for me.
Aren't I also one of the blessed?

"After eight days his disciples were again in a house and Thomas was with them. Even though the doors were locked, Jesus entered and stood among them. He said, “Peace be with you.” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here. Look at my hands. Put your hand into my side. No more disbelief. Believe!” - John 20:26-27