My grief has manifested itself recently in my quest for who will replace “Bunny.” Bunny was my daughter Julia’s favorite stuffed animal. It was her primary comfort apart from Mama and Dada. Now Lucy is at the developmental stage in her life that she can pick her favorite comfort, but I have a lot of power to sway her decision. I’ve agonized over this. All her stuffies are adorable but none of them can replace Bunny. None of them deserve that spot of honor.
In the process of my agonizing, I’ve connected to a part of God’s heart for us. God really, really cares about our comforts. Nothing is too silly for him. He cares about our desires, our loves, the things that can calm us down when God seems absent. He thinks intentionally about who and what we can love and he is fully attentive to our reactions when he gives them to us. I think it gives God great delight to know we feel comfort and to know that we have what we need to survive the fearful things in this world.
AND, at some point, God knows when it’s time to start removing some of those comforts. I’ve had some of my comforts for so long that I don’t even recognize them as comforts. God has been kindly pointing them out to me, one by one.
Stories are a comfort to me. When I can tell a story, I feel safe. No matter the chaotic circumstances around me, if I can find the story line, then I feel like I have found God. This is my version of Bunny. It is how I have coped for much of my life. And recently, God has been showing me that stories are not God. He wants to give me something stronger than a story. He wants to give me himself.
Jesus had a similar thing to say to the religious leaders of his day. Their comfort was the Scripture. Could there be anything more holy than this? But even the Scripture is not God. There is something even more powerful than God’s words. More comforting than knowledge. Sweeter than Bunny.
If only we could recognize him.
“You search the Scriptures because you think that in them you have eternal life; and it is they that bear witness about me, yet you refuse to come to me that you may have life.” - John 5:39-40