A Toast to Our Marriage
One of Julia's favorite books was Frosty the Snowman, illustrated by Wade Zahares. We read it long past Christmas time. One day Mike decided to change things up and read it/ sing it really fast. Julia thought it was hilarious. It then became a tradition to sing the song as fast as we could together as a family. We'd often go so fast that we would stumble on the words but it didn't matter. We were stumbling together.
As I grieve how fast Julia's life went by, I keep coming back to this memory. Jesus reminds me, it went too fast to keep up with, but you did it together. We did everything together as a family. We worked together, went to the grocery store together and folded laundry together. We would fold clothes and Julia would undo our folding. It was not efficient but it was so fun.
Mike and I parented together right up until Julia's last moments with us here. And we continue to parent together in our grief. We see the waves of grief just before they're about to come and we hold each other quickly. We recognize each others' needs, when those needs are in sync and when they are a little different from each other. We hear something triggering and we give each other a quick look that says "I see you."
Today is our seven year wedding anniversary. Our marriage counselors met with us recently and encouraged us to "toast" each other every night. So Mike, here's a toast to us. I'm so glad we get to and choose to do life together, with all of its messiness. Our marriage is a gift. You are a gift.